United Tramps of America
The greyhound from Washington to Boston stopped at New York’s Port Authority Bus Station in the middle of the night……. This place is massive about a hundred times bigger than London’s Victoria! What I didn’t realise was that in the middle of the night the place is a homeless shelter! I don’t think I have ever seen so many tramps!
All the seating areas were taken up, and loadsa ppl were strewn across the floor enjoying some kip. In addition, there were loadsa smelly tramps doing laps inside the station routinely checking the refreshments machines and fone booths for loose change!
I remember us approaching the seating area and thinking shit, why did that damn coach arrive an hour and a half early…. Then we saw some NY coppers who shouted out to the seated ppl……. ‘Right, we’re going to come round and check your bus tickets, if you don’t have one then you’ll have to leave!’ The next scene we witnessed was comical to say the least. One by one the tramps slowly got up and started leaving hahhaha! We quickly sat down on the vacant seats. Behind us there were some tramps pretending to be asleep and refusing to get up. But they soon had to leave too…
We had seen a few days before when on the streets of NY, that tramps were all over the show! We’d see garbage bins (not rubbish, GARBAGE!) being routinely rummaged around to see if any of the trash (not rubbish, TRASH!) contained something tramp-useful. Crazy place.
Whilst queuing up for the coach – the queue started about an hour or so early! – some Mr Nutcase was walking in circles near us talking to himself. It was hilarious! Just like a scene from a movie, mentioning how he’s got out jail, how the world was wrong against him and how he was going to do right. All fighting talk, probably all drugged up too… Well it seemed as though he was just loitering coz he checked the vending machine behind me and went mental over it… but he got on our bus. My idiot mate left his seat vacant next to me as he got up to go the toilet. Mr Nutcase (who has just boarded the bus) sees the vacant seat and thinks its his lucky day. I quickly put my arm out and tiredly said, ‘I’m sorry this seats taken…’ Poor me had just taken my contact lenses out so I couldn’t tell it was him… as I put my arm out I touched him to which he quickly sprung up and yelled ‘Don’t touch me man! I don’t give a fuck!’ I thought shit its Mr Nutcase and said I’m sorry to him and the now captive bus audience… and he left. Needless to say I was not pleased with my mate when he returned from the bus bog, he didn’t have a clue what had happened.
Boston was a lot more tramp free, but they existed nonetheless. This place was a lot more cleaner but I do remember making a call once from a fone booth in the theatre area; as soon as I put the fone down and looked briefly away, some tramp came and checked the booth for some change and then walked away as though he’d done summat normal! I think any normal person would’ve stopped him and hurled abuse at him but me I just stood there and laughed my head off !!!!!!!!!
One thing I learnt then I suppose, America just would not be the same without tramps.
All the seating areas were taken up, and loadsa ppl were strewn across the floor enjoying some kip. In addition, there were loadsa smelly tramps doing laps inside the station routinely checking the refreshments machines and fone booths for loose change!
I remember us approaching the seating area and thinking shit, why did that damn coach arrive an hour and a half early…. Then we saw some NY coppers who shouted out to the seated ppl……. ‘Right, we’re going to come round and check your bus tickets, if you don’t have one then you’ll have to leave!’ The next scene we witnessed was comical to say the least. One by one the tramps slowly got up and started leaving hahhaha! We quickly sat down on the vacant seats. Behind us there were some tramps pretending to be asleep and refusing to get up. But they soon had to leave too…
We had seen a few days before when on the streets of NY, that tramps were all over the show! We’d see garbage bins (not rubbish, GARBAGE!) being routinely rummaged around to see if any of the trash (not rubbish, TRASH!) contained something tramp-useful. Crazy place.
Whilst queuing up for the coach – the queue started about an hour or so early! – some Mr Nutcase was walking in circles near us talking to himself. It was hilarious! Just like a scene from a movie, mentioning how he’s got out jail, how the world was wrong against him and how he was going to do right. All fighting talk, probably all drugged up too… Well it seemed as though he was just loitering coz he checked the vending machine behind me and went mental over it… but he got on our bus. My idiot mate left his seat vacant next to me as he got up to go the toilet. Mr Nutcase (who has just boarded the bus) sees the vacant seat and thinks its his lucky day. I quickly put my arm out and tiredly said, ‘I’m sorry this seats taken…’ Poor me had just taken my contact lenses out so I couldn’t tell it was him… as I put my arm out I touched him to which he quickly sprung up and yelled ‘Don’t touch me man! I don’t give a fuck!’ I thought shit its Mr Nutcase and said I’m sorry to him and the now captive bus audience… and he left. Needless to say I was not pleased with my mate when he returned from the bus bog, he didn’t have a clue what had happened.
Boston was a lot more tramp free, but they existed nonetheless. This place was a lot more cleaner but I do remember making a call once from a fone booth in the theatre area; as soon as I put the fone down and looked briefly away, some tramp came and checked the booth for some change and then walked away as though he’d done summat normal! I think any normal person would’ve stopped him and hurled abuse at him but me I just stood there and laughed my head off !!!!!!!!!
One thing I learnt then I suppose, America just would not be the same without tramps.
posted by Seabrook Crisps at 10:21 AM
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